A Troubling Issue

I typically don’t like to use this time and space for airing my more controversial personal beliefs, but this one has been bugging me for a while now, and I feel it needs to be documented here for our future child to read and consider…

The other day, I had a disturbing email conversation with a friend of mine who is struggling with infertility – or perhaps just a misalignment with God’s timing and her & her husband’s desire to get pregnant. Although they don’t believe in artificial insemination, fertility drugs or test tube treatments, they are taking the genetic testing route. After a discussion as to the reasons why a couple might choose that option, she shared with me that they believe in a practice, now called “selective termination.” In short, it means if a child has a chance of being imperfect with Down’s syndrome or other oddly-named syndromes and/or abnormalities, the pregnancy is “eliminated” – call it what it is: abortion. The real key in that definition, too, is the noun: CHILD. The practice “eliminates” a life, “terminates” a child.

Now, no offense to my friend and her husband, but I was and still am fascinated by society’s belief that we have the authority to pick and choose, and with modern DNA technology, “engineer,” perfect babies. I cannot stand alone in noticing the obvious absurdity in this thinking! There is not one educated, intelligent argument that supports the practice, yet people continue to do it every day. Heck, we customize our cars, our burgers, our clothes, our homes – why not throw our kids in the mix, too. The selfishness behind it is painfully and deeply saddening, yet considering America’s pitiful values system of self-centeredness, materialism and superficiality, not surprising.

It’s interesting – a current hot topic for Special Olympics is how the organization is going to be affected in future years because the Down’s Syndrome and special needs population is declining due to this phenomenon. Think about that for a minute. And, check out this Christianity Today article that talks about a “perfect society,” one without disabled and special needs members: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/007/2.49.html

Here are some hypotheticals to think about… My mother was 44 when I was born. Her doctors told her that because of her age, I would either have Down’s Syndrome or be mongoloid (whatever that means). She spent the rest of that day weeping and miserable. But, my parents had me anyhow, and while the jury is still out some days on how “normal” I turned out to be, I’d argue I’m pretty A-OK. Could they have predicted my ankle defect? Probably not. It makes me imperfect, but, has it come between my leading a nearly 100% normal life? Absolutely not. I was a perfect candidate for this “selective termination” gig, but thank GOD my parents were wise enough to decide otherwise. Imagine the joy Dennis and SO many others would be denied in this world without my existence… (Note the sarcastic humor there.)

Then take Dennis… He was born 100%, A-OK. Not so much as a birthmark to give a sign of imperfection. Flash forward ten years, and he had to wear an eye patch for an eye issue, and was put in special education classes (although he was neither officially tested nor qualified to be there). Beam another fifteen years, and he began experiencing his crippling potassium condition, which he still struggles with daily. Could ANY of that be predicted in utero? Absolutely not. If his parents, or other parents like his, had a crystal ball and knew that’s what he would have to deal with later in life, should they have considered “eliminating” their pregnancy? I am grateful every day of my life that they didn’t.

And, what about the child, God forbid, who is born perfectly, but sometime later in their life undergoes a horrible accident that permanently disables or deforms them? Christopher Reeves, for example. “That kid” we all went to high school with who we heard through the grapevine drove his truck off a cliff and ended up a paraplegic. Terry Schiavo. Or great people who lose their “perfection” as adults? Teddy Roosevelt. Beethoven. Just about all of our grandparents and ancestors who suffered and/or died from cancer, heart disease and who knows what else. Not to mention the issue of free will… What about “perfect” children who grow up to be people like Hitler, Bin Laden, Manson or Kervorkian, to name a few. That’s why parenthood is such a serious endeavor. We don’t know what we’re getting into. We just have to spend our lives hoping and praying for the best.

You see, just like abortion, this concept of “selective termination” describes ONE decision parents make that affects generations of history. It interferes with God’s master plan. And ultimately, deceives unknowing parents into believing that they are actually in control of their children’s destinies. I think about pregnancy – the ten months before a baby is born – and compare that to the LIFETIME of years ahead in every child’s life. In short, if they aren’t “perfect” in utero, chances are sometime eventually they will cross the path of imperfection. Give me one example of the “perfect” human being without any health flaws, quirks, predispositions or issues and I will gladly eat the crow of my words. I confidently exhort, there isn’t one out there – and here’s the kicker: GOD DESIGNED IT THAT WAY!

Throughout this pregnancy, as I worked with my Special Olympics athletes, I constantly hypothesized about “what if” our little one was born with some of the disabilities these people struggle with. My most poignant example is one of our best athletes who was 100% healthy before he was born. Somehow in the birthing process, there were complications, he came out blue and suffered permanent brain damage. He is almost unnoticeably “special” until you really get to talk with him, but is an amazing 44-year-old man (a Special Olympics World Games medallist, by the way!) with an incredible singing voice, full-time job and kindest heart around. I look at the sparkle in all of our athlete’s eyes. The joy they bring to my and so many other people’s lives clearly demonstrates how intentional their lives really are. How important of a lesson they can share with each one of us. How they are put on earth for a clear reason – a reason of which we have NO business getting in the way.

Do I WANT a special needs child? Of course not. But, if Baby Knapp were born as one, what would I do? LOVE him or her with all of my heart. Does it scare the heck out of me? Of course. How hard Dennis and my lives would become, yes. How high our medical expenses would become, yes. How strong as parents of a special needs child we would have to become, yes. But, God NEVER gives us more than He knows we can handle, and life is not worth living without a few serious challenges.

And, I don’t want to hear about how technology is more advanced now, how we can predict things more accurately, blah, blah, blah. Technology and medicine are still imperfect, designed by imperfect humans. Mistakes are made all the time, as are miracles (dare I suggest divine intervention!?). I don’t care how advanced our society ever gets, we will never be God, and we need to stop pretending that we have similar or equal control over our circumstances as does He.

Frankly, it is neither my preference nor my personality to interfere in other’s people’s live decisions, but we as a society must detect which decisions are personal and which are global. Do you know what YOUR friends believe in? What decisions they might be making with their future children? What decisions they might choose to make should they learn they might have a hard road ahead of them? What opportunities might arise for you to save – or change – a whole slew of lives? It IS our business to know this, educate them and try to get them to see how behemoth of a decision they are making when it comes to toying with the fragility of life. Even if we can’t change their minds or choices, at the very least when we arrive in heaven, God will know that we gave it our best effort and tried to save a life of a child made in His image – as imperfect as that may seem to man.