Childbirth Reflections

My apologies for not having posted any updates on here sooner, but you know… We have a newborn! “Spare time” is completely a thing of the past, so I type this with great speed to sneak in a post before the little one regains consciousness and demands my presence!

In short, I wanted to post a few of my thoughts on childbirth, now that I have actually experienced this amazing event myself. Please note: none of these are fact, scientifically proven or endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, just my thoughts on the topic!

Everyone Else’s Birth Story: Interesting, frightening and totally irrelevant. Every woman’s body and every baby is totally different, and I wish I hadn’t heard as much as I did before I had a story of my own. The nurse’s, our doctor and one kick-ass anesthesiologist all deemed me “the worrier,” as every step of the process started with me saying, “A friend told me that… (insert birthing horror story here).” Funny enough, none of the experiences I had heard of came to fruition for me. All that worry for nothing…

Water Breaking: No, it usually doesn’t happen in the middle of a crowded shopping mall like on TV, but yes, it does feel like the most incontinent moment of one’s life.

Pitocin: Not as bad as I heard it was going to be, in moderation!

Epidural Needles: No, they are NOT as big as a pencil, and no, it doesn’t feel like someone is drilling into your spine.

Back Labor: Is there any other kind?! I heard it was painful, but I didn’t know one could experience their ENTIRE labor this way. Leave it to me to have a baby who flipped over at the last minute…

Hormonal Chills: No one told me about this one. Highly annoying (yet, entertaining for one’s husband!), but spectacularly resolved with lots of layers of warm blankets!

Goofy “He He He Who” Breathing: Bill Cosby was wrong – it actually does work! Oh, I was still demanding morphine, but structured breathing through contractions really did make a difference!

Contractions: Awesome, as long as the narcotics are fresh and the epidural is in full force. Otherwise, I can only describe them as the most uncomfortable feeling of my life.

Time: Totally irrelevant during labor. Even as the redness of Dennis’ eyes increased, I still only felt like I had been there five or six hours. I couldn’t believe it when we did the math, and it was 28 hours from start to finish!

Post-Childbirth Hunger: I had heard about mothers who demanded McDonald’s super value meals after giving birth. As for me, the giant glass of ice chips they gave me in recovery was the most glorious meal I’ve ever eaten.

Modesty: There simply isn’t any in childbirth.

Post-Partum Depression: Fortunately, I didn’t experience this, but I DID find myself falling in love all over again with Dennis after we made it through this experience together. If there were an opposite of this condition, I would deem it “Post-Partum Elation!”

Weepiness: Many friends told me I’d have a day after childbirth where all I’d want to do is cry all day. Other than shedding some brink-of-exhaustion tears, I haven’t had this day yet. Although, one nurse did catch me in the corner of our hospital room sobbing while struggling to breastfeed Frankie. She said the most comforting thing: “Don’t worry, ‘it’ doesn’t last forever.” She was right.

Dad's Weepiness: I wasn’t expecting this event, but my heart melted when Dennis said he wept the entire first drive home from the hospital as it sunk in that he was a father, we have a son and the best years of our lives have only just begun. There’s nothing more endearing than a man in touch with his emotions! I love you, Baby Doll!

Breastfeeding: Perhaps the most challenging process of my entire life, but incredibly rewarding once we passed the gateway of “finally getting it right.” Two things to invest in: Lanisoh cream and lactation consulting. And, support from some great friends who had been through it before, paired with spare pain medication, made my process a WHOLE lot more bearable, too!

Again, this was all just my own experience, and I can’t emphasize enough how totally irrelevant it is to any other woman reading this hoping to compare experiences. If there’s one thing the hospital staff kept telling me, it was, “It completely depends on the mom and baby.” From this I learned the reality that our individuality and diversity begins from the moment we arrive into this world, not years later when we have “developed into ourselves.”

Still, I’m banking on one final “myth” I heard: that one’s first childbirth experience is supposed to be the worst of all of them, and that subsequent births will be much easier. They tell this to moms during recovery so they don’t swear off having any more children. Hey, ignorance is bliss, so don’t rain on my parade! ;-)