Stretch Marks and Belly Buttons

I’m sorry to report that I have officially joined the ranks of countless mothers with the “stripes of motherhood” upon her ever-growing belly. I’ve tried oils and creams throughout this pregnancy, but at about month five, I realized it was a losing battle and heredity would claim victory over my once clear, youthful tummy. But that’s OK – yet another well-worth-it price to pay for motherhood.

But today, I divert your attention a bit north to the belly button... For reference, I have an “inney,” and apparently, a very deep inney, because it has still yet to pop out like that of a typical pregnant woman’s belly – otherwise known as “the turkey is done” belly button. But now, as we reach the final month (we're due 30 days from today!), I’ve noticed a new pattern of stretch marks that are as intriguing as they are disturbing. It’s a ring of markings AROUND my belly button. What exactly does that mean?! My belly button is stretching?! My inney won’t transform to an outey, so we gotta stretch everything ELSE around it?! I’ve never seen such a thing. The real mystery is what will this look like AFTER Baby Knapp is born?! I’ve heard no matter how many sit ups and crunches you do after pregnancy, your belly button never really returns to its original self and your new array of stretch marks never really go away. Nice double whammy.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about pregnancy, it’s that Mother Nature’s surprises and cruel jokes are to be expected. Tack this on as yet another bizarre transformation of a woman’s body to bring a perfect little life into the world…